Anonymous asked: <p>Hola, </p>
<p>Recuerdo aver leido que eres de raza afro-americana y mexicana, veo que te identificas ethnicamente con la primera pero que tal la segunda? Hablas espanol? Y si la respuesta es “si” les as enseñado a tus hijas hablarlo tambien? Why or why not?</p>
I identify with both, but black more than Mexican, simply because I was raised by the black side of my family - my father, who is Mexican, wasn’t around. What I know of that side of myself - of the culture, the small amount of the language, all of it, I’ve learned on my own.
If you outright ask me though, I’ll say I’m mixed. I get mistaken for everything from just black to Cuban to half white to Puerto Rican (especially when I go up north). Sometimes I may refer to myself as just black, but that’s usually when I’m discussing racial or social or cultural conflicts, because I’ve faced the same discrimination; I’ve faced the prejudice; I’ve suffered the experience of being a black woman in the south (as much as I can - I won’t pretend that I don’t realize that because I am multi-racial and I do have a lighter complexion that my experience has probably been easier).
When it boils down to it, I refuse to choose or acknowledge or represent more than another. I’m black and Mexican and that’s what people should consider me and refer to me as, if it comes up. I’m not Black. I’m not Mexican. I’m both. If you ask me my ethnicity, I’ll say Latina. My race, I’ll say Black. If you ask me what I am, I’ll say a Martian because I HATE it when the question is phrased that way.
I hope to instill in my daughters pride for everything that they are. I didn’t have that luxury when I was little: if I pointed out that I was mixed I was accused of being ashamed that I was black. My girls are the very slightest amount bilingual* (as in they know a few words and phrases but not very many at all), aware that they are black and white and Mexican and also have Cherokee in them, but honestly? It’s not something we really discuss. They call black people brown. White people pink. They realize that I’m brown and they’re not. Somehow, they’ve never once asked about Michael Jackson’s progression… and they love him and absorb all the media about him that they can.
I’ve realized over recent years that I have no idea how to parent them in a way in which they will be completely aware and proud and everything of who/what they are. I only hope that I am able to assuage or prevent any amount of self hatred or loathing they may feel growing up mixed, like I had. Only time will tell. I just really want them to love themselves, for who they are, in every single fucking way possible.
*I hope for all three of us to become fluent in Spanish sooner rather than later.